Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Liverpool FC parade crash injured rises to 109 - BBC

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

What are your best funny dating stories?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

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I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

How do you get a girl to like you?

I can count

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

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I have complete contempt for fakery

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why does my narcissistic ex told me that he f*cked and sleep with other woman and then at the end says that it also happened because of me?

I see through liars

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What would happen if the Earth stopped spinning for one minute?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

How do I get access to a dog for bestiality? I am currently unable to adopt a dog, but I want to know if there are still ways to have sex with one without getting caught.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

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I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What steps can be taken to track down a scammer and determine their location?

I actually pay taxes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

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It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I can read

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have a reading level above third grade

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”