What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 06:32
So, i spoilt her more .
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
On Which Part of the Body Might One Wear Winklepickers? - Slate Magazine
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
She was in good health!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
What was your best experience of having your navel touched?
Put me off passion for life!!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Why can’t my wife just accept the fact that I’m going to cheat?
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I think the readers, may guess!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
According to Trump, Ukraine started the war. Why?
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I was very sick at this time too.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Which bands became massively popular for covering songs rather than recording originals?
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I couldn’t, believe it.
When was the first time you felt discriminated against because you were female?
I will be 64.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Do you believe that Jesus was God on Earth?
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I was seconnd youngest,
Would this be the day?
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Can a cop pull you over walking home asking why you are out so late?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
LSU baseball vs. UCLA game suspended on Monday night. Here's when it will resume - NOLA.com
Especially a lifetime of it.
I write beautiful poetry .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
And i lived it daily.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
We were not on the streets..
This is soul school!.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I waited trembling.
Im still living with it.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
He knew the spot.
She wouldn,t have been !
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I never cut or harmed myself..
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
But, we were locked up after school.
Who then, do I blame.?
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Why did i forgive my father ?
One cannot live in the past .
They are buried together, in the same grave..
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I was 9 years of age.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
(And it was in our own minds.)
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
When she asked me how she looked .
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Ive learnt so much.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
All the time i was locked up.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
My life is so biszare .
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
What did i know ?
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
It was going to be , some day.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I could never make a relationship work though!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I don,t even have a pension.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Was to survive, this bastard.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
We all went to grammer schools
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I was scared of men, in general
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
She found it foreign!.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
He resisted the act ,that day.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I said to her
My family never makes their pension either.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
She loved him until the end.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I have no regrets .
But it wasn’t much.
So whats the point in blame.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
She married twice! .
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Comes on , in middle age.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
As i do to all so called friends.?
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.